Author: instar	Trouble is not back at school on Monday. At lunch, Bella sits with Andi who sits with Robin who sits with Ethan.
Author: hold_infinity	"Hi!" says Robin.
Author: palmofyourhand	Ethan smiles in an approximately friendly way.
Author: instar	"Hi, guys."
Author: pandion	"Will you lighten up? It's not like we have to live with him. We could even skip the summer, if you want."
Author: instar	"I don't want to skip the summer, I want to not even have it cross my mind that I might want to."
Author: palmofyourhand	...Ethan looks at one twin, then the other. He raises his eyebrows.
Author: hold_infinity	"What he said," says Robin. "Huh?"
Author: instar	"Sorry. Our dad called us last night and I'm still in a bad mood."
Author: pandion	"He's in this vaguely culty club thing called the Sharing. He was looking into it sort of casually when we saw him over the summer, but since we left he's been all Sharing all the time."
Author: palmofyourhand	"Vaguely culty?" inquires Ethan. "My parents joined up a while back, but I can't say I paid much attention."
Author: pandion	"Yours too? Huh. They aren't after you to join it though?"
Author: palmofyourhand	"They're not the getting-after type."
Author: pandion	"Dad wasn't, but..." Andi shrugs.
Author: instar	"I may or may not have gotten through to him last night. I don't know."
Author: hold_infinity	"What'd you say?"
Author: instar	"I don't remember my exact words, I just made it extremely clear that pushing us about joining his - I don't think I said cult, Andi, did I say cult directly to Charlie?"
Author: pandion	"You were thinking about it but you didn't."
Author: instar	"Anyway, I made it clear that it was counterproductive."
Author: hold_infinity	"If only that worked on all parents," says Robin.
Author: instar	"It probably helps that he's not the primary custodial parent. We can avoid him if we want. We'd be in a much less pleasant spot if Renée were doing it. Fortunately, she thinks the Sharing is uninteresting because it fails to be about any specific thing - she'd rather learn crafts and thirty words of sign language and volunteer at the animal shelter."
Author: hold_infinity	"Good for her, I s'pose," shrugs Robin.
Author: palmofyourhand	"Cults are boring. Well-known fact."
Author: instar	"I feel vaguely like I ought to be trying to be glad that Charlie has more to do with himself than he used to, but I don't like how it's changed his behavior."
Author: palmofyourhand	"How has it? Maybe it's just him," says Ethan. "Or maybe my parents just know better."
Author: instar	"It's subtle. Sometimes it's like nothing happened at all, and then if he has the least breath of an inkling that either of us might listen if he suggests that we join the Sharing..." She shakes her head.
Author: palmofyourhand	"Dear old Mum and Dad would have to be hallucinating to think I'd join a club on their say-so. Maybe that is it," he muses.
Author: instar	"Maybe. How long have yours been in?"
Author: palmofyourhand	"Some number of months?" he hazards. "I did mention I wasn't paying attention."
Author: instar	"Maybe Charlie'll get the picture. As of last night, as of some other argument."
Author: pandion	"We can skip summer. Any time we want. We can go roadtripping with Mom instead."
Author: palmofyourhand	"It doesn't sound like that would solve the problem," says Ethan.
Author: pandion	"Well, it'd keep us farther away from the problem."
Author: instar	"Yeah, it's one thing when he's on the phone, it'd be another if he were like this while we live with him."
Author: palmofyourhand	"Particularly if it is a cult and he decides you really, really need to join."
Author: instar	"Yes."
Author: palmofyourhand	He chuckles.
Author: hold_infinity	"It's really not that funny," says Robin.
Author: instar	"It's not," Bella agrees.
Author: pandion	"I'm pretty sure there's no sign it's the kind of cult that kills people?" says Andi hopefully.
Author: palmofyourhand	"That just means that if they are, they're very very good at it."
Author: pandion	"That's really not funny, Ethan."
Author: palmofyourhand	"Isn't it?"
Author: hold_infinity	"Only to you," says Robin.
Author: pandion	"Your mom isn't in it too, is she, Robin?"
Author: hold_infinity	Robin shakes her head. "I'm sure I'd be the first to know. Well, second."
Author: pandion	"That's good then."
Author: instar	"I looked for books on the organization once and couldn't find any. I wonder if they've gotten press. Newspaper articles."
Author: palmofyourhand	"If you can't dig anything up, I think that's a bad sign."
Author: instar	"Maybe, yeah."
Author: palmofyourhand	Ethan glances at Robin and says, "Maybe I'll take a look."
Author: instar	"At old newspapers?"
Author: palmofyourhand	"Or something."
Author: instar	"What, are you going to go to a meeting and check them out?"
Author: palmofyourhand	"Or something," he repeats.
Author: instar	"Well," snorts Bella, "bring your own beverages."
Author: palmofyourhand	"Will do."
Author: instar	The next day, Bella is still pensive.
Author: palmofyourhand	"Any luck?" says Ethan as he sits down next to Robin.
Author: instar	"There's press about them. Nice newsy 'the Sharing cleaned up this highway' or 'the Sharing is raising money for cancer research'. Some negative press, especially from the earlier days. Almost invariably followed by retractions. And the same article authors saying nice things later."
Author: palmofyourhand	"Don't tell me - they joined up?"
Author: instar	"I couldn't tell from the articles - 'I personally have joined this organization' doesn't qualify as news, I guess - but it sounds like it."
Author: palmofyourhand	"Cult," he concludes.
Author: instar	"Yes, well. Unusually effective cult."
Author: palmofyourhand	"Spooky."
Author: pandion	"It is," says Andi. "Maybe you'd better not go look at it, Ethan."
Author: palmofyourhand	He laughs. "Maybe."
Author: hold_infinity	"That means don't," says Robin.
Author: palmofyourhand	"But how else will I find out about them?"
Author: pandion	"It might be slightly safer to ask your parents?" Andi says dubiously.
Author: palmofyourhand	"That'll be the day."
Author: hold_infinity	Robin sighs.
Author: pandion	"Do you just not ever interact with them, or something?"
Author: palmofyourhand	"Not if I can avoid it. And they do the same for me. It's a very tidy system."
Author: pandion	"Huh, no wonder they haven't bothered you to join up, I guess."
Author: palmofyourhand	"Yeah, I might have a heart attack from shock and then their cult would never get me."
Author: pandion	"Pffff."
Author: palmofyourhand	He laughs.
Author: hold_infinity	So does Robin, albeit a little reluctantly.
Author: pandion	"At least it's not the kind of cult that's making him give up all his possessions and cut off his family? Like, it would be worse if he didn't call anymore at all."
Author: instar	"I guess."
Author: hold_infinity	"Hell of a silver lining," says Robin.
Author: instar	Bella shrugs.
Author: pandion	"He's still our dad, he's just being annoying."
Author: hold_infinity	"Yeah," she sighs.
Author: pandion	"Are you okay?"
Author: hold_infinity	"Yeah, I just - this could be really bad," she says, somewhat inadequately.
Author: pandion	"It could, but, like, the worst cult things aren't happening, Dad still has his job and his house and talks to us and stuff," says Andi.
Author: hold_infinity	She sighs again, and nods.
Author: palmofyourhand	Ethan pats her arm.
Author: instar	Nothing more of moment happens until Thursday, but then Trouble's back. Bella spots him at lunch and sits next to him; Andi follows. "Hey, you."
Author: aeskhyne	"Hey yourself," he says, grinning. His left arm is still in a cast, but it doesn't appear to be slowing him down much. "So how was your week?"
Author: instar	"Had a fight with Charlie. Otherwise nothing out of the ordinary."
Author: pandion	"She's been researching his cult. It is pretty culty."
Author: aeskhyne	"I forget the cult," says Trouble. "Tell me all about the cult."
Author: pandion	"It's called the Sharing, and Dad joined up over the summer and then got really into it and now he wants us to join up to a local chapter."
Author: aeskhyne	"The Sharing?" He blinks. "Huh. How 'bout that."
Author: instar	"You know someone in it too?"
Author: aeskhyne	He quirks a wry little smile. "I might."
Author: instar	"But their membership might've lapsed without you being informed?"
Author: aeskhyne	He gives her a mildly impatient look. "Skip it," he says.
Author: instar	Bella makes a small, exasperated gesture. "Anyway. He hasn't called back since we got into a fight Sunday night."
Author: aeskhyne	"Sorry to hear it," says Trouble. "You okay?"
Author: instar	"I'll be fine."
Author: pandion	"Next summer we might stay with Mom though."
Author: aeskhyne	"Good thing you've got the two of them, I guess," he murmurs.
Author: pandion	"Yeah - uh - is this a sore spot?"
Author: aeskhyne	He shrugs; smiles. "Not a big one."
Author: pandion	"I don't know anything about your family at all come to think of it."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yep," says Trouble. "That's 'cause I don't want you to."
Author: pandion	"Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense."
Author: instar	Bella laughs a nervous, helpless laugh.
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble smiles and shakes his head.
Author: instar	"Anyway, there's a creepy pattern if you look at the press about them over time -" And Bella describes the way retractions tend to be issued.
Author: aeskhyne	"Shit," says Trouble. "That is creepy. I'm creeped."
Author: instar	"I am also creeped. I did find, yesterday, a single website by an anonymous raving person who claims that the Sharing is a front organization for brain-eating zombifying creatures. But I'm pretty sure if I looked hard enough I could find someone claiming that about everything from the Girl Scouts to the De Beers cartel, which I am pretty sure just sell cookies and diamonds respectively."
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble laughs. "And they can't be eating all the brains, or somebody would've noticed by now, right?"
Author: instar	"I'm pretty sure you need your brain to do most things. Or at least I do. It's possible you're operating without."
Author: aeskhyne	He flashes a brilliant grin. "Aww, you're makin' fun of me," he says happily.
Author: instar	"You noticed."
Author: pandion	"You guys are cute."
Author: aeskhyne	"Aren't we though," Trouble agrees, beaming. "I wanna bake you things again, can I?"
Author: instar	"Of course."
Author: pandion	"Bella has an admiiiiirer," coos Andi.
Author: aeskhyne	"She does," says Trouble, hugging himself in a way that causes his face to briefly become - interesting.
Author: instar	"Andi thinks this is very cute," says Bella.
Author: pandion	"Especially since it comes with dessert and I get to have some."
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble laughs. "How about tomorrow," he says. "I'll bring you - I dunno, what do you want this time?"
Author: pandion	"Cheesecake!" suggests Andi.
Author: aeskhyne	"Cheesecake," he agrees.
Author: instar	"Oreo cheesecake?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Your wish is my command," he says, eyes sparkling.
Author: instar	"Pfff."
Author: aeskhyne	His grin fades to a sappy little smile.
Author: instar	Lunch proceeds. After gym, Bella waits for the room to clear, then says to Trouble, "So, I'm guessing it's your stepdad, who's in it."
Author: aeskhyne	"Got it in one."
Author: instar	"And Andi can't know this because it involves knowing a relatively innocuous fact about your family other than 'he probably isn't the result of parthenogenesis'."
Author: aeskhyne	"That's about the size of it," says Trouble.
Author: instar	"Do you know anything about the organization that I might not?"
Author: aeskhyne	He shrugs. "Nope. Why, do you want me to?"
Author: instar	"I want to figure out what's going on without touching it. I don't really fancy you touching it either, though."
Author: aeskhyne	"Hey, if somebody's gonna be touching something nasty, I've got the practice."
Author: instar	"That's kind of a grotesque thing to say."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yep."
Author: instar	"Well, I don't imagine I have any particular sway over you, and if you do decide to go poke it with a stick, and your personality survives the experience, I would be a willing audience for anything you learned."
Author: aeskhyne	"You got it," says Trouble. "If I go poking, I'll tell you what squeaks."
Author: instar	"Thanks."
Author: aeskhyne	"Who else am I gonna tell, right?"
Author: instar	"You could conceivably not feel interested in telling anyone."
Author: aeskhyne	He shrugs. "Yeah. But I wanna tell you."
Author: instar	Bella nods. "Be careful, if you go poking it."
Author: aeskhyne	"What's the worst that could happen?"
Author: instar	"Your brain could get eaten, reportedly."
Author: aeskhyne	"Could be fun, depending how."
Author: instar	"I think you're a bit too young to die, don't you?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Not really."
Author: instar	"...What, really?"
Author: aeskhyne	He shrugs. "I don't want to or anything, but I'm not desperate to avoid it, either. Death doesn't scare me."
Author: instar	"Why not?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Nobody lives forever, right? So what matters to me isn't how long I can hang on for, it's - I don't know, something else. Dying doesn't scare me. Another ten years in Reggie's house, that fucking scares me. Loving somebody who doesn't want me to. Having to live without being able to hurt. Those things are scary. Death just isn't."
Author: instar	"Death is never getting to do anything, ever again, even be upset about that."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah," says Trouble. "That's scary, sure. But there's no way out of it. It's not that I don't care that I'm going to die, exactly. It's that worrying about it won't make it go away, and since I can't just not die - and there's some ways it might turn out pretty awful if I could - I don't care that much whether it happens when I'm sixteen or when I'm sixty. What I want is for it to be - my choice. For it to happen because of a risk I took on purpose, or because I decide I'm done, and not just sneak up on me out of nowhere."
Author: instar	"I don't think it's a law of nature that people have to die. I think someone might be able to fix it someday."
Author: aeskhyne	He shrugs. "I'll believe that when I see it. But I bet I'll be dead first. I'm not seeing us getting there anytime soon."
Author: instar	"I have every intention of working on it."
Author: aeskhyne	"Good luck with that."
Author: instar	"Look," says Bella. "You haven't known me very long, you're scared of me, you're prematurely cynical, etcetera, you have no reason to believe I'm good at anything except writing school essays - I understand you have no reason to believe I'm going to be able to accomplish anything remotely interesting with my life - but do you think you could stop steering our conversations straight into how very functionally worthless you think I am at anything except having charmingly naive good intentions?"
Author: aeskhyne	"...What?" says Trouble.
Author: instar	"What part of what I said was confusing?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Uh... most of it?" He latches on to the part that seems most important. "It's not that I think you'd be bad at it, it's that I think it's impossible. And not even impossible to get anywhere on - I mean, I'm pretty sure there actually is a law of physics that says the universe has a sell-by date, the best we're ever gonna get is to stick it out that long and then go down with the ship, right? But I don't think even that is coming anytime soon. Thing is, though, just because you can't get the whole thing done yourself in the next hundred years doesn't make you useless." He takes a breath. "It's part of the same reason I was scared of you. I wouldn't be so scared if I thought you were just talking big. But you're not, are you? When you wanna get something done, you don't just sit on it. So fine, yeah, when I say 'good luck with that', it means I don't think you've got a hope in hell of finishing the job. I don't think anyone does. I think it's an impossible fucking job. But shit, can't I still hope I'm wrong? Can't I still be glad you're trying? I mean you, like specifically you, because you are the kind of person who could start a job like this and get somewhere. You're the kind of person who could start the job. I wouldn't give most people even that much."
Author: instar	"Laws of physics have been disconfirmed before." She sighs. "All right, apparently I was misreading when I heard something along the lines of 'affectionate contempt'."
Author: aeskhyne	"Affectionate yes, contempt no," he says, shaking his head and smiling.
Author: instar	"Good to know."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah."
Author: instar	"I'm going to go meet Andi now. See you tomorrow."
Author: aeskhyne	"See ya."
Author: instar	And off she goes, waving.
Author: aeskhyne	The next day comes and goes, with Oreo cheesecake. A day later he wants to bring her pie again, and manages it somehow despite his left arm still being mostly nonfunctional. He doesn't seem noticeably afraid of her, but then, he never has.
Author: instar	"Been a week since you've been back in school," remarks Bella, when this statement comes true and he's at her door with blueberry cobbler.
Author: aeskhyne	"Yep," he says. "You wanna grab this?"
Author: instar	She touches the side of the pan to see if she will need oven mitts.
Author: aeskhyne	Oven mitts are not strictly necessary, but might be advisable. He laughs. "Sorry."
Author: instar	She collects oven mitts and takes the cobbler. "It's fine. When you were still in the hospital you guessed it'd take you a week of being back in school, or so, to stop finding me scary."
Author: aeskhyne	"Or so," he agrees. "I'm getting there."
Author: instar	"Is there anything I can do that would help?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Sure," he says. "Talk to me. Let me bake you things. Just - be around, be you, like you have been."
Author: instar	"So nothing I'm not already doing."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah."
Author: instar	"Okay. That's easy," she shrugs. "Dinner is macaroni and sausage and cheese. And green beans instead of salad. Mom was in a cooking mood." (The oven is on; there are dishes in it.)
Author: aeskhyne	"Sounds tasty."
Author: instar	"Should be!"
Author: aeskhyne	"Here's hoping. Hey, can I hug you?"
Author: instar	"Sure."
Author: aeskhyne	Hug! Happy beamy hug.
Author: instar	Yes, hug.
Author: pandion	"Awwwwww," says Andi from the threshold to the kitchen.
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble giggles and hugs Bella some more. It's possible he shouldn't be doing that to his left arm, but if it hurts, he's not complaining.
Author: pandion	"What'd we get today?" Andi wonders, when she has finished awwing.
Author: instar	"Blueberry cobbler."
Author: aeskhyne	"It's gonna be awesome," says Trouble, beaming at both of them.
Author: instar	"I have every expectation that you are right."
Author: aeskhyne	"Good, 'cause I am."
Author: instar	"Then I will be neither surprised nor disappointed."
Author: aeskhyne	He laughs and twirls around spontaneously.
Author: instar	"Now you're a ballerina?"
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble giggles. "Yep!"