Etty doesn't get used to it - not exactly. Not in any sense that would leave her comfortable. She learns the routines, learns to reliably keep her dinner down, learns how limp she can go and how helpful she has to be to get it over with as fast as possible while remaining dissociated as she can manage from the experience.

She waits in the room, after, for a while, and - Nona doesn't come.

They might only get one chance. And Nona wants out too, and Etty shouldn't fault her for waiting, but she writes those thoughts on her scroll in terrible handwriting and cries and wishes that things would go faster.

She doesn't want to be one of the swans.

She's tried talking to them some more - tried imitating them, and when she does that they'll act like she's one of the flock and stop being afraid of her, but she can't get any glimmer of human memory out of them whatever prompts she tries.

She does not want to be one of the swans.

And the next girl won't even have the hope of Nona, the comfort of maybe soon.

She holds Nona, when Nona meets her in the orchard, and she thinks maybe soon, and one night she says:

"Do you - have any idea when you'll be able to say it?"

Author: mute_pen	Etty doesn't get used to it - not exactly. Not in any sense that would leave her comfortable. She learns the routines, learns to reliably keep her dinner down, learns how limp she can go and how helpful she has to be to get it over with as fast as possible while remaining dissociated as she can manage from the experience. She waits in the room, after, for a while, and - Nona doesn't come. They might only get one chance. And Nona wants out too, and Etty shouldn't fault her for waiting, but she writes those thoughts on her scroll in terrible handwriting and cries and wishes that things would go faster. She doesn't want to be one of the swans. She's tried talking to them some more - tried imitating them, and when she does that they'll act like she's one of the flock and stop being afraid of her, but she can't get any glimmer of human memory out of them whatever prompts she tries. She does not want to be one of the swans. And the next girl won't even have the hope of Nona, the comfort of maybe soon. She holds Nona, when Nona meets her in the orchard, and she thinks maybe soon, and one night she says: "Do you - have any idea when you'll be able to say it?"
Author: growcrooked	"I don't know," she sighs. "I keep trying to - think about it, and I keep not knowing."
Author: mute_pen	"What do you think, when you think about it?"
Author: growcrooked	"I love you," she says. "But I don't know how I did it, and I don't know how to make sure I never stop."
Author: mute_pen	"When you did it," murmurs Etty, "what happened, what did it feel like, what were you thinking?"
Author: growcrooked	"I don't know! I didn't really do it at all," she says. "It just happened. And not all at once or anything."
Author: mute_pen	"If you stopped loving me what would do it?" Etty tries.
Author: growcrooked	"I don't know," she sighs. "If you weren't the person I think you are, that might do it. But you are, aren't you?"
Author: mute_pen	"Yes." She swallows. "For now, anyway."
Author: growcrooked	...Nona hugs her.
Author: mute_pen	"I imagine if I turn into one of those - swans - there won't be any of me left to love."
Author: growcrooked	"I'll still love who you were," she says, hugging her some more. "Who you are now."
Author: mute_pen	Etty turns her face into Nona's shoulder and whimpers.
Author: growcrooked	"I love you," she says helplessly. "I love you, I love you, I love you."
Author: mute_pen	"I love you too," weeps Etty; she wasn't sure if she did until just this moment, but now she is.
Author: growcrooked	Nona sniffles and hugs her.
Author: mute_pen	Squeeze.
Author: growcrooked	Cuddle.
Author: pythbox	Time continues to pass. There is no summons the following night, but the night after that, it comes just after dusk.
Author: mute_pen	Etty drags herself to where she is bidden as usual.
Author: pythbox	The Baron brings her into the castle, and eats dinner with her, and carries her up to his rooms. As usual.
Author: mute_pen	Etty shuts her eyes and tries not to have nerves and cries and waits.
Author: pythbox	The Baron goes to sleep.
Author: growcrooked	The door opens, very quietly, just enough for Nona to slip into the room.
Author: mute_pen	Etty gets out of the bed and backs away from it, wide-eyed.
Author: growcrooked	Nona comes very close to Etty, and she whispers in her ear, "I promise to love you forever." The curse approves. The curse approves itself to death.
Author: mute_pen	Etty nods, rapidly, many times, tears creeping down her face.
Author: growcrooked	Nona produces a stolen dagger from her stolen sleeve and stabs the sleeping Baron in the back. And then she stabs him again. And again. And again. He wakes at the first blow; he screams, briefly; he stops screaming. Nona goes on mutilating his body.
Author: mute_pen	Etty is just going stand there. And watch.
Author: growcrooked	The bed is soaked in blood and strewn with pieces by the time Nona finally drops her dagger. She spits on the mess.
Author: mute_pen	"Thank you," whispers Etty.
Author: growcrooked	"Now what?" says Nona.
Author: mute_pen	"I don't know," says Etty, and she sits on the floor, shaking, still naked.
Author: growcrooked	Nona is covered in the baron's blood. She wants to hug Etty, but - she hesitates.
Author: mute_pen	If ever Etty was squeamish, it's gone now. She holds out her arms.
Author: growcrooked	Nona hugs her. "I love you," she says.
Author: mute_pen	"I love you too." And: "My name is still gone. I guess I'm Etty for good."
Author: growcrooked	"You can be something else if you want," says Nona.
Author: mute_pen	"I think I'll be Etty, if I can't have whatever I was before."
Author: growcrooked	"Okay." Hug.
Author: mute_pen	Hug. "We could go rinse off in the lake."
Author: growcrooked	"Let's do that," she says.
Author: mute_pen	Etty gets up, and picks up her dress with a relatively bloodless hand, and goes out of the castle and to the shore with Nona.
Author: growcrooked	Nona just jumps straight into the lake. Apparently, with the ending of the curse, all the other girls turned into swans.
Author: mute_pen	"They're swans," murmurs Etty. "It's night, and they're swans." She wades into the water.
Author: growcrooked	"I guess that's what they are now," says Nona, ribbons of blood curling away from her in the water.
Author: mute_pen	"...I'll miss flying," sighs Etty.
Author: growcrooked	"Maybe you can learn magic," says Nona.
Author: mute_pen	"We still might catch fire if we try the library door."
Author: growcrooked	"I'll try it."
Author: mute_pen	"If - if you're sure, but let's find a bucket - or a blanket, we could soak blankets."
Author: growcrooked	"Okay," says Nona. She climbs out of the lake, soaking wet but mostly bloodless.
Author: mute_pen	Etty follows, and picks up her dress, and shimmies into it, damp or no damp. "Will there be buckets?"
Author: growcrooked	"Probably somewhere."
Author: mute_pen	Etty starts looking.
Author: growcrooked	The stable, while empty of horses, contains both buckets and blankets to spare.
Author: mute_pen	Etty fills them all with water and brings them to the library door as (presumably) identified by Nona.
Author: growcrooked	Nona helps. She is still dripping lakewater when she tries the library door. It swings open easily. Nothing burns.
Author: mute_pen	Etty follows her in and starts looking at the books hungrily.
Author: growcrooked	There are a lot of books.
Author: mute_pen	Are any of them about sorcery?
Author: pythbox	Most.
Author: mute_pen	Excellent. Are any of them introductory-looking?
Author: pythbox	None.
Author: mute_pen	Well damn. Etty picks through them and skims, looking for anything to latch onto.
Author: pythbox	Many of the books contain information on how to do spells, and the recipes seem reasonably complete; some are even annotated with the Baron's additions. But there is nothing resembling a book of theory, and very little organization to the spells themselves.
Author: mute_pen	Etty hunts up something less cluttered than her well-used scroll to take notes on.
Author: pythbox	There is plenty of loose paper around; the Baron was also in the habit of taking notes.
Author: mute_pen	Etty doesn't want to think about him right now. She takes blank paper and starts up an index of useful-looking spells with actionable recipes.
Author: pythbox	The Baron's much-used spell for serving himself meals is one that requires no long list of obscure ingredients for the setup, just a kitchen and a bowl of animal blood, and after that can be invoked at any time.
Author: mute_pen	Can it be invoked by people other than the original caster, Etty wonders, or will she have to find an animal? (She would be squeamish about helping herself to a swan.)
Author: pythbox	No explicit information is included.
Author: mute_pen	She decides to try the invocation step and see if it works.
Author: pythbox	The invocation step is to find oneself at a table one wishes to fill with food, and command - through word or gesture - that the table be so filled.
Author: mute_pen	Etty goes. She sits at the table. She waves a hand - she really could stand to eat; it's been a while since dinner at this point - and stares down the emptiness of the table.
Author: pythbox	Nothing.
Author: mute_pen	Great. She goes back to the spellbooks and starts looking for one that might bring her, say, a deer. She identifies a little too much with the flock of swans...
Author: pythbox	There are indeed spells for animal summoning. Enough searching will even let her find one. It requires her to eat a blade of grass soaked in her blood.
Author: mute_pen	Well, that's grotesque, but she's getting the impression that that's the general theme, here; she notes it and keeps looking through the books. (It's not like she's starving yet.)
Author: pythbox	Another animal summoning spell requires her to urinate in her best approximation of a perfect circle wherever she wants the animal to appear. A third requires that she have the severed foot of the desired kind of animal, whereupon once the proper rituals are complete she can summon as many of it as she likes.
Author: mute_pen	Sorcery is gross. What do the healing spells look like?
Author: pythbox	They are many and varied, and frequently very specific. One will only heal wounds made by steel; another will only heal sickness; another will only heal animal bites. All-purpose immortality like what Nona had exists only in the Baron's notes.
Author: mute_pen	Etty will get to those later, probably. The one for sickness is general enough to be useful; she makes a note of it. Where is Nona?
Author: growcrooked	At the end of a trail of blood and the occasional stray bit of flesh that leads from the Baron's rooms to the lakeshore, where a pile of blankets and Baron-bits is burning.
Author: mute_pen	Etty goes and sits next to her. "Sorcery is disgusting," she reports.
Author: growcrooked	"I'm not surprised," says Nona.
Author: mute_pen	"It can do a whole lot of things, though. It won't be hard to re-cast the food spell, just icky."
Author: growcrooked	"Icky?"
Author: mute_pen	"It needs a bowl of animal blood. I don't want to kill one of the swans and I don't think I could catch anything else, and the least revolting animal-summoning spell requires the caster to eat a blade of grass soaked in their own blood. There's a lot of blood involved."
Author: growcrooked	"I can do it," she shrugs. "I don't mind blood."
Author: mute_pen	"I found some healing spells but nothing general, not in the books. Some of the specific ones will work on things of narrow parameters - like the type of implement. If you have something made of steel to use to get the blood you can be patched up after. All-purpose versions, like what you had before, I'd have to go into his notes for."
Author: growcrooked	"There's knives and swords and stuff," she says.
Author: mute_pen	"Probably made of steel," nods Etty. "So we can operate out of here till - we know where else we'd go. I can't remember the way to Astgabels..."
Author: growcrooked	"I don't know where that is."
Author: mute_pen	"I'm sure someone does, but I don't even know how far away or in what direction the nearest settlement is. If I could still fly..." She nibbles her lip; she wishes she could still fly.
Author: pythbox	It turns out that she can.
Author: mute_pen	Etty blinks, and is briefly a swan. And then she tries wanting to be a human again.
Author: pythbox	She is a human again, complete with pristine white dress.
Author: mute_pen	"...Interesting," she says. "Okay, so I can range pretty far afield, looking for places we might go."
Author: growcrooked	Nona hugs her.
Author: mute_pen	Hugs!
Author: growcrooked	"Okay, tell me how to do those spells so we can get the kitchen working again."
Author: mute_pen	Etty leads her to the library and shows her the relevant magical instructions.
Author: growcrooked	Nona copies down the complicated parts of the kitchen spell and finds herself a knife, a bowl, and a blade of grass. She summons a deer. She kills the deer. She paints its blood on all the things she needs to paint its blood on, then pours the last few drops over her head, as directed. She sits at the head of the dining room table and summons a feast.
Author: mute_pen	Midnight snack! Etty declines to read at the table. The books are not good meal reading.
Author: growcrooked	Om nom nom! Nona eats very aggressively.
Author: mute_pen	After eating, Etty goes back to cataloguing the usefulness of this and that portion of the library. There's a lot to cover.
Author: growcrooked	Nona goes to her room and curls up and sleeps.
Author: mute_pen	Etty joins her, a couple hours later, snuggled up warm.
Author: growcrooked	Sleepy snuggles! Snuggly sleeps!
Author: mute_pen	Both of those things! Nona went to sleep first and will probably wake up first.
Author: growcrooked	But when she does, she won't see any reason to move.
Author: mute_pen	Etty wakes up. It's daytime! She's not a swan! She grins and snuggles up to Nona.
Author: growcrooked	Nona grins and snuggles right back.
Author: mute_pen	"Good morning," sighs Etty.
Author: growcrooked	"Good morning I love you," says Nona.
Author: mute_pen	"I love you too."
Author: growcrooked	Mmmsnugglysnuggly.
Author: mute_pen	"After breakfast I think I'll pick a direction and see what's there. West first, I think."
Author: growcrooked	"Okay." Snuggle!
Author: mute_pen	Snuggle! Breakfast does not have to be right now.
Author: growcrooked	Breakfast can be after snuggles. Mmm. Snuggles.
Author: mute_pen	After a suitable number of snuggles have been had, it's time to go summon up some breakfast, though. Nom.
Author: growcrooked	Om nom!
Author: mute_pen	Etty hugs Nona goodbye, says she'll be back before sunset, and goes outside and changes and flies west.
Author: pythbox	Landscape happens.
Author: mute_pen	Etty keeps flying until just past noon or until she sees some form of habitation, and then she turns around and goes east.
Author: pythbox	Habitation - a farm - comes before noon.
Author: mute_pen	Etty lands a ways away from the farmhouse, and she changes, and she approaches slowly.
Author: pythbox	No one is home. Or no one wants to talk to her.
Author: mute_pen	Etty turns around, finds a private place to change again, and flies back to the lake.
Author: growcrooked	Nona is in her rooms, having a pastime.
Author: mute_pen	Etty leaves her to it and goes to do librarying.
Author: pythbox	Sorcery is gross. Nearly every spell that accomplishes something interesting involves a component that is either sacrificial in some way or just plain disgusting. There is a loose category of cleaning spells that only need water and occasionally soap for the setup - a common thread is that once set up, many spells can be repeated by an effort of will or a token gesture - but that is really about it.
Author: mute_pen	Etty decides she is going to be Library Person and Nona, who plainly has a higher or possibly nonexistent disgust threshold, can be the Actual Spellcasting Person barring emergencies. Etty does find some soap and water and re-casts the spell that kept the castle clean by herself, though.
Author: pythbox	The castle obligingly becomes cleaner; all she needs to do to maintain it is wander through the rooms every so often and want them to clean themselves. Apparently the Baron couldn't be bothered to do even that to the rooms that were cobwebbed before, because there's no problem cleaning them now.
Author: mute_pen	Etty tours-and-cleans the entire castle. She saves Nona's room for last.
Author: growcrooked	Nona is napping.
Author: mute_pen	Etty watches her for a long moment. She can't go have dinner by herself, the kitchen only responds to Nona; she decides to lie down with Nona till she wakes up.
Author: growcrooked	She snuggles up in her sleep.
Author: mute_pen	That is nice. Nona is good to snuggle with. Dozy half-awake snuggles.
Author: growcrooked	Mm, snuggles.
Author: mute_pen	Etty thinks, slowly, driftily. She kisses the back of Nona's head and snuggles closer.
Author: growcrooked	Mmm, snuggles.
Author: mute_pen	Etty waits dozily for Nona to wake up so there can be dinner.
Author: growcrooked	Snuggly snuggly snuggly - "Mmm?"
Author: mute_pen	"Hi," says Etty. "I found a farm, but no one was home, or they didn't want to answer the door."
Author: growcrooked	"Mmm," says Nona, and curls up in Etty's arms.
Author: mute_pen	Huggles. "Do you want dinner?"
Author: growcrooked	"Mmyeah," says Nona.
Author: mute_pen	"Good, I'm hungry."
Author: growcrooked	"Mm." But snuggles! Snuggles.
Author: mute_pen	"I've been hungry for a while. You took a long nap," says Etty, squirming. "I didn't want to wake you."
Author: growcrooked	"Oh." Nona yawns and crawls out of bed.
Author: mute_pen	To the dinner table!
Author: growcrooked	To the dinner table, with a blanket! Nona summons food and then, rather than eat any, piles her blanket onto the floor and nests in it.
Author: mute_pen	"Thanks," says Etty. "Sorry to drag you out of bed."
Author: growcrooked	"'Sokay."
Author: mute_pen	Nom nom nom.
Author: growcrooked	Nap nap nap.