Author: pandion	Andi is up first again the next morning. She pads downstairs.
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble is in the kitchen, quietly inventorying.
Author: pandion	"What's for breakfast?" Andi inquires. "Are you making breakfast?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Course I'm making breakfast," he says. "Pancakes sound good?"
Author: pandion	"Pancakes sound sizzly, which is good, sizzly is a nice food sound," says Andi, lazily sprawling herself in a kitchen chair and onto the table.
Author: aeskhyne	He giggles softly. "All right, pancakes it is."
Author: pandion	"Did things wind up okay with Ax last night?"
Author: aeskhyne	"I think so. I went to bed pretty soon after we talked. You want your pancakes nowish, or when everybody else wakes up?"
Author: pandion	"Eh, I can wait, unless they take forever."
Author: aeskhyne	"Okay. Lemme know if you get hungry." In the meantime, he sets out all the ingredients.
Author: pandion	"You and Ax friends now?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Good question. Maybe I'll ask him."
Author: pandion	"I dunno about that, kind of a heavy question, 'are we friends'."
Author: aeskhyne	"How else am I gonna find out?"
Author: pandion	"Ob...serving? If friend things happen?"
Author: aeskhyne	"'Friend things' is kind of different for everybody, isn't it?"
Author: pandion	"Yeah, I guess."
Author: aeskhyne	"And with most people I can guess, but him I don't know well enough."
Author: pandion	"I took it as a pretty encouraging sign when I brought him the stars and he told me this was a kindness and asked me about the water thing instead of going to Bella about it," offers Andi.
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah, that does sound encouraging. He told me he liked 'em, too."
Author: pandion	"The stars? Yeah. I'm glad they help, being claustrophobic doesn't sound fun."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah, I bet it's not. I get some of it when I morph Andalites, but I'm pretty sure starting out human makes a difference. Not to mention starting out me."
Author: pandion	"You're, what, particularly un-claustrophobic?"
Author: aeskhyne	"More like - on most things, I can get pretty damn uncomfortable before it really starts bothering me."
Author: pandion	"...If you aren't bothered by a thing how is it even technically uncomfortable?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Mmm... you'd call a papercut uncomfortable even if it wasn't that annoying and you could mostly ignore it, right? I feel that way about a broken arm. I just have a really high tolerance for unpleasant shit."
Author: pandion	"Oh. I guess that's handy."
Author: aeskhyne	He laughs. "Damn right."
Author: pandion	"That's not how come you're bitey-critter-bait, though, right, that's a different thing?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah, mostly. I mean, maybe I wouldn't get so much out of being mauled by bears if I got more upset about pain, but who knows?"
Author: pandion	"Not me, I do not know."
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble giggles.
Author: pandion	Andi yawns. Then she says, "I wonder when Mom's going to show up. I mean, on the one hand it's convenient that we have the house to ourselves if we're not gonna tell her stuff, on the other hand it's kind of lousy that if our dad had, actually, got mauled to death by a bear, we would be alone in his house for the next several days?"
Author: aeskhyne	"...yeah," says Trouble, "I hear ya. Do you even know if anybody's talked to her yet? She was on a trip or something, right?"
Author: pandion	"Nobody's reached her. I'm supposed to call the hotel she was at last night sometime today when she will probably already be gone."
Author: aeskhyne	"So I guess if your dad had actually been mauled to death by a bear, you might be trying harder to get ahold of her."
Author: pandion	"Well, we could have got her on the phone last night, or I could call the hotel now," says Andi, "but there wasn't a way before that, she wasn't planning to be at specific hotels at specific times till now."
Author: aeskhyne	"She's probably gonna feel like shit about that when you finally talk to her."
Author: pandion	"Yeah."
Author: aeskhyne	"That sucks," says Trouble.
Author: pandion	"Every few months she thinks about getting a cell phone, then decides it would be too expensive," sighs Andi. "I bet she gets one now."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah, I'll say. Do you know if you guys are gonna tell her about - stuff?"
Author: pandion	"I don't think Bella's decided yet."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah. It's hard."
Author: pandion	"Mom is decent with privacy but not very good with secrets, is the problem."
Author: aeskhyne	He nods. "And then there's what if she just gets a random Yeerk..."
Author: pandion	"Right. That's already happened the once and we were really lucky."
Author: aeskhyne	"Lucky's one way to put it, I guess."
Author: pandion	"Well, I mean, if there had to be an Animorph getting Yeerked, you and Aspret is one of probably not all that many combinations that lets us end the day not all enslaved or dead. I don't mean it's lucky it happened at all."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah, no - what I mean is - the reason Aspret got me specifically is the same reason she could barely hang onto me," he says. "It wasn't all luck."
Author: pandion	"Huh?"
Author: aeskhyne	"She got assigned to me as a punishment. To torture her, basically."
Author: pandion	"...Uh?"
Author: aeskhyne	He hesitates. "...Maybe you don't wanna know."
Author: pandion	"I... don't know if I wanna know, do I wanna know? Should I know?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Well... I wouldn't mind you knowing. But it's pretty nasty."
Author: pandion	"It kind of sounds like you got tortured a lot? And the Yeerks knew it?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Kind of about right," says Trouble. "My stepdad's a Controller. He has some kind of a deal with his Yeerk. I dunno what the Yeerk gets out of it, but I know what Reggie got."
Author: pandion	Andi scratches her head, but doesn't say anything.
Author: aeskhyne	"What?"
Author: pandion	"I dunno how much I'm supposed to be able to figure out from that?"
Author: aeskhyne	"You can always ask for the rest."
Author: pandion	"It's kind of awkward to have to ask, though, like, I don't have sadistic fascinations here and probably don't actually have to have details to do anything I need to do and I dunno how much you want to tell me anyway."
Author: aeskhyne	"I want to tell you, I just don't want to give you nightmares if I can help it. And me and my high tolerance for unpleasant shit aren't always good at figuring out where that line is for other people."
Author: pandion	"I don't really have a problem with nightmares. If my dreams get even slightly unsettling I wake up and roll over and try again. So I guess that kind of is a problem with nightmares, but not the usual kind."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah," says Trouble. "I just... it's weird having people I'm willing to tell. Maybe it's just 'cause Reggie can't get me anymore. Except if we all get captured and infested they might give me back to him for a while. It'd be a waste, but it'd be just like Visser Three to waste me like that."
Author: pandion	Andi nods.
Author: aeskhyne	He shrugs. "Anyway. I guess you don't need the details."
Author: pandion	"Who else knows?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Bella. And Ethan could've guessed by now if he gave half a shit."
Author: pandion	"Which... he does not?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Course not, he's Ethan."
Author: pandion	"Well, I'm glad he can't get you anymore, anyway."
Author: aeskhyne	"Aww." He smiles. "Thanks."
Author: pandion	"You're welcome."
Author: aeskhyne	"So - hungry yet?"
Author: pandion	"Yeah."
Author: aeskhyne	"All right." He commences making breakfast.
Author: pandion	Andi supervises.
Author: aeskhyne	Soon there are pancakes! "I'm gonna go see if Ax wants any," says Trouble. He scoops up a plate and heads for the garage.
Author: morphbox	Ax is mid-morph. Charlie's clothes are too big on his mixed-up human form to be morphed into it, but he does come with underwear, and is reaching for the pants when Trouble comes in.
Author: aeskhyne	"Hi," says Trouble. "I brought you some pancakes."
Author: morphbox	"Pancakes," Ax repeats. "Pan. Anc. Akes."
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble grins and offers him the plate.
Author: morphbox	Ax picks up a pancake. He tastes it. He inhales the remaining available pancakes, making undignified sounds.
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble smiles.
Author: morphbox	<Pancakes,> says Ax unnecessarily.
Author: aeskhyne	"Yep," says Trouble. "I'm glad you liked 'em." He takes the plate back into the kitchen.
Author: morphbox	<Are there more?> inquires Ax.
Author: aeskhyne	He laughs. "Not right now. There will be if I make 'em."
Author: morphbox	<May I have more?> Ax gets his pants on, and his shirt, and peers into the kitchen.
Author: aeskhyne	"Sure," says Trouble. "I wanna save some for everybody else, though, so I'm not gonna keep feeding them to you until I run out." He makes some more pancakes.
Author: morphbox	Ax's morphed human instincts must be driving the generation of facial expressions. He looks truly pathetic when he says, "How many? Men-nee?"
Author: aeskhyne	"How about..." he looks at the remaining volume of batter and makes a calculation, "three more, and then I'll wait until everybody else has eaten and give you what's left?"
Author: morphbox	"Three," says Ax. "Thhhhrrrrrreeee." He sighs.
Author: pandion	"Aw, poor Ax."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah, I know. But we've got a lot of people to feed here."
Author: pandion	"I wish one of us besides Charlie could drive, we could go get groceries. Maybe if I successfully miss Mom calling today I can call one of Dad's friends and get a ride."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah, 'cause otherwise I'm gonna have to go kill a deer or something pretty soon."
Author: pandion	"Would you even know what to do with a dead deer?"
Author: aeskhyne	"I'm sure I could figure it out."
Author: pandion	"Inconspicuously?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Mmm... depends where."
Author: pandion	"You'd have to get it to the house, to cook it."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah, probably. Or do some serious experimenting off in the middle of the woods somewhere. But the deer'd still have to come back eventually, I guess."
Author: pandion	"Yeah."
Author: morphbox	"What is a deer? Deeeeeeeeeeer?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Four-legged herbivore with hooves."
Author: morphbox	Ax looks alarmed.
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble hands him a plate of pancakes.
Author: morphbox	This is a very effective distraction!
Author: pandion
Author: instar	Bella comes down the stairs.
Author: aeskhyne	"Morning, Bella!" says Trouble. "There's pancakes."
Author: instar	"Are there now. Ax sure seems to approve."
Author: morphbox	<Pancakes!>
Author: aeskhyne	"I make good pancakes," Trouble says smugly.
Author: instar	"I'm not sure if Ax's approval is much supporting evidence, but I'll sure have some."
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble provides.
Author: instar	Mmm, pancakes. "I, too, approve."
Author: aeskhyne	"Good!"
Author: hold_infinity	Ethan and Robin come down the stairs together.
Author: sundayfish	Charlie is not far behind.
Author: hold_infinity	"Ooh, pancakes."
Author: sundayfish	"Thanks," Charlie says to Trouble.
Author: aeskhyne	"Welcome."
Author: sundayfish	"Y'know," says Charlie, watching pancakes fry, "you came up on the phone, a few times - before - but Bella never mentioned your real name."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah," says Trouble, "that's 'cause I never use it if I can help it."
Author: sundayfish	"Why's that?"
Author: aeskhyne	He shrugs. "I just don't like it much."
Author: sundayfish	"Mm. All right."
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble smiles, and provides more pancakes.
Author: morphbox	Ax watches pancakes travel from pan to plate hopefully.
Author: aeskhyne	"Everybody had enough?"
Author: palmofyourhand	"Provided no one steals mine, yes."
Author: morphbox	Ax eyes Ethan's pancakes.
Author: palmofyourhand	Ethan points his fork at Ax. "No."
Author: morphbox	<They are delicious!>
Author: palmofyourhand	"They are mine."
Author: instar	"Ax, do not steal food from other people."
Author: morphbox	Ax sighs tragically. <Yes, Princess Bella.>
Author: hold_infinity	Robin grabs herself another pancake, then says, "I'm good."
Author: morphbox	Ax looks beseechingly at Trouble.
Author: aeskhyne	He looks at the various Swans.
Author: instar	"I think we're good," says Bella. She has half a pancake left.
Author: aeskhyne	After glancing for confirmation at Andi and Charlie, Trouble says, "All right, the rest are for Ax."
Author: morphbox	Ax grins from ear to ear.
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble giggles, and sets about making the last of the pancake batter into more pancakes.
Author: morphbox	When Ax receives the completed pancakes, they are gone in less than sixty seconds.
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble laughs.
Author: morphbox	"Pancakes," says Ax with satisfaction.
Author: aeskhyne	"Yep!"
Author: morphbox	"Paaaaan. Cayyyyyks."
Author: sundayfish	"Are you having as much fun as it looks like?"
Author: morphbox	"Yessssssss."
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble grins. "It's adorable."
Author: morphbox	Ax smiles, a little. <Is there any more food or should I demorph?>
Author: aeskhyne	"Mmm... nothing more right now," says Trouble.
Author: morphbox	Ax goes back out to the garage.
Author: instar	"How'd talking with Ax last night go?" Bella asks Trouble.
Author: aeskhyne	"It went. I dunno."
Author: instar	"Affordances for privately discussing it are kind of limited when the house is this crowded unless we morph and thoughtspeak."
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble shrugs. "I don't need, like, secrecy," he says, "I just don't wanna talk about it in front of everybody. Can we go sit somewhere less crowded? Upstairs maybe?"
Author: instar	"Sure." Bella gets up and heads to the master bedroom where she and Andi have been temporarily sleeping.
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble follows.
Author: instar	Bella sits on the edge of the bed.
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble sits on the floor. "I talked to Ax. He doesn't really get me. I don't really get him. I apologized. Then I went to bed."
Author: instar	"Is the mutual not-getting going to cause problems?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Who knows? I know I'm better about it since we talked. I guess he might be too. He likes my pancakes, anyway."
Author: instar	"Yes. He does."
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble shrugs. "That's all I got."
Author: instar	"Okay." Bella writes something. "Thanks."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah." He is quiet for a moment.
Author: instar	"Hmm?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Mmmm... thinking about how we left off last night."
Author: instar	"What about it?"
Author: aeskhyne	"...You seemed kind of frustrated."
Author: instar	"Yes."
Author: aeskhyne	"You wanna say anything else about that?"
Author: instar	"Not necessarily. What do you want to know?"
Author: aeskhyne	"I don't know. I'm just trying to—" He shakes his head and starts over. "When you let loose on me about what a total shit you thought I was being, it made me really not wanna tell you any different. So now I'm... seeing if I can not feel like that."
Author: instar	"I apologize for going off on you like that. It was against my better judgment and I will not repeat the mistake."
Author: aeskhyne	"...okay," says Trouble. "I'm not sure I'm hearing that the way you mean it. Uh, thanks, I guess. But how much it helps kind of depends on what the mistake was."
Author: instar	"I made a mistake in - managing myself. However I was feeling and whatever I saw and however much of a heel I felt like for being prepared to give Ax unpalatable instructions it didn't make it reasonable to yell at you about it - I mean, how you're feeling about everything matters too. Whatever I saw."
Author: aeskhyne	"...yeah, okay," says Trouble. "That's - better than what I was hearing."
Author: instar	"What were you hearing?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Well - it sounded like it meant that you don't think any differently than you did, you just regret telling me about it. Without there being anything about my feelings mattering in there."
Author: instar	"I'm still not sure what else I was supposed to think, at the time," says Bella. "But then you went and apologized, so obviously it wasn't as bad as I had been imagining."
Author: aeskhyne	"...you could say that, yeah," says Trouble, looking at the floor with a touch of strain in his voice.
Author: instar
Author: aeskhyne	He looks up at her again, maybe a little wary, maybe a little sad. "Truth is, you had one thing right," he says. "I didn't notice there was anything going on with Ax when I mouthed off and bolted. But it's not that there's some big thing where I don't care. I was just too deep in my own shit to figure out there was anything to see. I got it quick enough when you told me."
Author: instar	"I'm... not sure I understand."
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble hugs his knees. "I got scared," he says. "I got scared and ran away, and I wasn't really thinking about anything, I was just being scared. So that's all I really got out of it, is that I was scared and I got away and calmed down and then everything was fine. I mean, I remembered what we said and all, but that was just - surface, and I didn't like thinking about it much because nothing good ever comes of dwelling on shit that scares me. And I'm not saying I thought any of this through, exactly, I was just kind of... running on feelings. I do that." He sighs. "And then you told me about how Ax was feeling, and - well, it seemed really obvious then. But it never even crossed my mind before. I couldn't have pulled it out of thin air any more than I could pick the winning lottery number before they draw it. Maybe I would've rolled around to it in a few days, I don't know, but when you talked to me I was still pretty much in the scared place about the whole thing. I just don't, you know, usually get so anybody can tell I'm scared."
Author: instar	"I couldn't tell," confirms Bella.
Author: aeskhyne	He smiles wryly. "Yeah, I figured."
Author: instar	"So - when it looks like you're being a jerk I can probably call your attention to it less shoutily, huh?"
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah," he says. "And maybe it'll be that I don't care, I don't guarantee I'm gonna care about every single thing you think I should for the rest of forever, but maybe it'll be that I was too busy being wrecked about something to notice."
Author: instar	"Are you still? Wrecked?"
Author: aeskhyne	He smiles crookedly. "Little bit, yeah. Going to talk to Ax was - not trivial."
Author: instar	"I couldn't tell that either."
Author: aeskhyne	"I know. That's kind of a thing with me. When I'm scared and living in my head like that, I'm not gonna let anybody know until I've got through it a little. Because it feels safer that way, you know?"
Author: instar	"I guess? I don't know, I don't have a thing like that."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah," he says, "that makes sense."
Author: instar	"Well, you - talked to him anyway, which was good, the house is still standing, you have not been slain in a tail-blade duel, etcetera."
Author: aeskhyne	Trouble laughs. "Yeah, that's a start."
Author: instar	Bella grabs her notebook. She writes something down.
Author: aeskhyne	"Mm?"
Author: instar	"Loosely - that there is room for more charitable explanations around you than I briefly believed."
Author: aeskhyne	"Yeah, okay."
Author: instar	"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"
Author: aeskhyne	He shrugs. "Nah."
Author: instar	"Okay. Thanks for clearing this up."
Author: aeskhyne	"You're welcome."
Author: instar	Bella writes inscrutably.
Author: aeskhyne	This time he doesn't ask. He just sits there for a moment longer, and then gets up and wanders off.