small_magics: (Default)
Author: small_magics
Isibel spends her last day on the island flying, and then she rejoins her expedition, and packs, and sleeps, and in the dawnlight she gets back on the boat to sail back to the Elven Lands.

She is kept quite occupied with small magics to keep the ship operating smoothly, and also with notebooking - writing quite small, as she brought more than enough notebooks for three weeks but then unexpectedly used many of them to draw and write with the demon and has only half of one left for several days at sea.

They land on the shore of the Elven Lands on schedule, and disembark.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
Very shortly after they leave the boat, it is made known to Isibel that there is a unicorn waiting for her nearby. 'Nearby' being relative, of course, since unicorns and population centers don't mix well.
small_magics: (judgment)
Author: small_magics
Isibel goes looking for the unicorn, puzzled. She isn't close personal friends with any unicorns, though of course she's one of the people in Silverbranch who can interact with them if they come by and require an intermediary.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
The unicorn in question is drinking from a small forest spring when she finds him. His fur is blue-black, with three pale golden socks, and his hooves and horn are pearly white.

"Hi!" he says. "You're Isibel, r—I mean, you must be Isibel, I can tell." He straightens up and nods importantly, flicking his tail. "The Wild Magic sent me! I have to tell you that you need to bond with a dragon to save the world."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
"...I'm Isibel," says Isibel softly. "To save the world - I don't understand."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"I don't know everything," he says, "but I know some things! Someone's trying to raise Elemental Darkness again like they did when Mom was younger and it's not going to turn out so good this time, so you have to bond with a dragon and find them and stop them."
small_magics: (dismay)
Author: small_magics
"There are - several Elfmages, more experienced than I, who would of course not want the Elemental Darkness raised..." Isibel says. There's really no point in arguing with the unicorn, he's just a messenger, but she can't exactly address the Wild Magic personally. "I don't understand what would make it essential for me in particular to participate - surely there are others - who have the bond already, who want it -"
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"You are a lot like Harrier," snorts the unicorn. "He didn't want to be the chosen champion of the Light either. Or bond with a dragon. But he did, and look how much better everything is now! I'm going to have to follow you around for months, I bet. Oh," he adds, "I'm Liselen. By the way."
small_magics: (dismay)
Author: small_magics
"You - you don't understand. I would like nothing better than to be an Elfmage; if the world needs saving I would be willing to devote my life to saving it - I don't think I can - I think if anyone, even a dragon who I'd come to love as life itself, could - spy on my thoughts like that - I don't think I'd survive it, I'd go madder than Bisochim the Deceived, I'd be in no condition to save the world," pleads Isibel. "I can't. I'll as good as die before I can accomplish anything."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"...I didn't know that," says Liselen. "I don't know what to do about that. Maybe the Wild Magic will find a way," he says hopefully. "It usually does. But will y—I mean, it would be good if you tried. Or thought about it. Or thought about it and then tried."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
"So there's - there's time," murmurs Isibel. "I have a while, I can -" She shakes her head. "Put my affairs in order. Talk to the Elfmages, perhaps, see if they have counsel for me. I don't have to go back to the boat and ask that it sail right now."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"...You found a dragon over the sea - that makes sense," says Liselen. "I don't have a deadline or anything, but I get the definite impression that ten years would be too late. A season or two would be fine."
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
Isibel nods slowly. "It would be good to know what else I must do besides bond with the dragon I found," she murmurs.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"That's not part of what I know," says Liselen, shaking his head. "But I guess you'll find out when you need to."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Isibel swallows. "Perhaps if you know more," she says, "you could tell me, and I could write it down." She produces her notebook, which has about three pages left.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"I know you have to bond with a dragon to save the world," he says, "and I guess it has to be the one you found, and it had better be sometime this year, and I'm supposed to stay with you until you decide you're definitely going to do it but I don't have to follow you all the way across the ocean or anything, which is good because I get really seasick, it's awful."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Isibel writes.

This makes it all seem more final, somehow.

"I should talk to Magania. She's going to speak to the other dragons about the one on the island."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"That name sounds familiar," says Liselen, and visibly bites back further utterances.
small_magics: (judgment)
Author: small_magics
"She used to be a Unicorn Knight," Isibel says, not sure what else would do it.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Oh!" he says. "Yeah, now I remember. She was Mom's cousin's partner for a while."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
"I can meet you here again after I've spoken with her," Isibel says.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Okay!" says Liselen.
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
Isibel goes looking for Magania, quiet and withdrawn.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"I See you, Isibel," says Magania. "Anything you may wish to tell of what passed between you and Kareta's son would make good hearing."
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
"I am supposed to Bond with a dragon," Isibel says softly, in no condition to weave layers of indirection, "and save the world. It's possible I'll survive this physically, but I hold little hope for the state of my soul. I do not even know if I will hold together well enough under such scrutiny to save the world in the first place."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"...I have no wisdom to offer you," says Magania.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Isibel nods. "I thought perhaps I could accompany you to speak to the dragons. And their Bondmates. They may have wisdom to offer me from their own experiences."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Of course," says Magania.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
"Thank you."

And Isibel goes back to where Liselen is waiting, taking careful, even steps.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Hi again!" he says. "I mean, um, I See you!"
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
"I See you," murmurs Isibel. "Magania is willing that I accompany her to speak to the other dragons."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"I guess that's good," says Liselen. "I guess I'll just... follow you. At a distance."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Isibel nods. "I do not know when she plans to leave. I will wait with her."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Yep," says Liselen. "Um... good luck."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
"Thank you."

Isibel returns to within eyeshot of Magania, and she waits, and she tries to think of thoughts she needs to have before there's no privacy to be had, but she can't think of anything.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
And then they travel to Karahelanderialigor, home of the dragons.
small_magics: (formal)
Author: small_magics
Isibel tags along while Magania introduces the situation, as it will be easier to explain exactly what she has to do once the dragons are alerted to the existence of her future Bondmate.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
Magania explains that there is a dragon on the island, Bonded to what seems to be a benign Endarkened.

While the debate about what to do with the dragon's Bondmate is ongoing, a consensus quickly emerges that the dragons should send an expedition. Magania defers to Isibel for any knowledge she may have of the island dragon's willingness to engage in producing eggs.
small_magics: (formal)
Author: small_magics
"His Bondmate once remarked that he would be quite amenable," murmurs Isibel.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Good," rumbles Ancaladar. "That simplifies things."

"And we're going to need all the simplicity we can get," snorts Saravasse.
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
"There is," Isibel says, "another matter, on which I would be most grateful to hear counsel from you, or from your Bondmates, if there is any to be had."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Speak," says Saravasse.
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
"A unicorn, Liselen, told me when our expedition returned from the island that the Wild Magic says that the world is again in danger of Dark incursion and that I must avert it, and that this will involve my Bonding with a dragon." She swallows. "The island dragon and I can Bond. I - avoided his company as soon as I realized, having decided years ago that I could not, not for love or power, tolerate having my mind read. If there is any way, any at all, to mitigate this problem - I would hear it."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"The bond will make us tolerate many things we thought were intolerable," says Saravasse.

"Harrier, too, was unhappy with that aspect of the bond," says Ancaladar. "He grew accustomed with time."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
"I don't think I can," whispers Isibel. "I think I'll shrivel up inside and that I won't be able to do anything."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
Ancaladar bows his head.
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
Petrivoch speaks up. "Whether you shrivel up is your business, but whether you save the world is everyone's business. If the problem is just that you'll find your dragon's attention distracting, meditate into hyperfocus and you'll be able to concentrate. It's a discipline of elven meditation; my Bondmate can teach you if you have the time and want to learn. She's here in Karahelanderialigor."

"That may work," says Isibel, head bowed. "Thank you."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"And I am sorry," says Ancaladar. There is a general murmur of agreement.

Then they start talking about which dragons will visit the island. Saravasse volunteers to lead them.
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
Isibel speaks quietly to Petrivoch about his Bondmate's exact location.

She finds her.

She explains the situation.

The other elf wastes no time in setting Isibel up in a guest house and setting a rigorous schedule suitable for the world-saving deadline in which Isibel will learn meditation.

Isibel proves rather adept at it, all told. Inside a moonturn, she can narrow her attention to the finest of points, like a needle so fine as to be half-invisible, or sunlight focused through glass. She thinks of nothing else beyond her chosen object of meditation. The practice isn't without its dangers. She could easily neglect a terrible injury, for example, were her mind elsewhere than her body when she was hurt.

But that's much of the point, that she can feel no suffering when hyperfocused. That she will do work, and nothing else. That she will be able to look for whoever seeks the Dark, and nothing else. That she will be able to study magic to be able to bring it to bear, and nothing else. That she will be able to be the savior of the world.

And nothing else.

She can't stay in hyperfocus forever. She's up to an hour when her teacher pronounces her ready, and she can only do an hour when the focus object is something interesting - a book, usually. She can last only minutes at a time trying to meditate on her breathing or on a star. But of course the object here is not to make her Bond free of distress for her. It's to make her productive in spite of distress.

She'll get better with practice, and if she has to spend much of every day in miserable desperate awareness of scrutiny, well, the world is at stake, she is only one elf and there are millions if not billions of people on the line, where would she be now if Harrier had refused his commands from the Wild Magic?

The teacher advises her to add a trigger to each session of hyperfocus that will end it early (because, of course, one of the things she neglects when her mind is sharpened to a blind single point is anything that could lead her to want to cease to be so). For practice purposes, she uses a word from her teacher. For later, she will need something else.

Isibel supposes that as long as she has to give over her entire self into the hands of the dragon - and his obviously much more content existing Bondmate - she may as well let them trigger her. The demon could snap his fingers in front of her face, or something. Let them decide when she works and when she weeps.

At least she'll still sleep at night.

Elves sleep at night.

She's ready in time to return to the island with the rest of the expedition, and if anyone notices that she is withdrawn and upset, they are all too polite to ask.

She drifts into the forest towards the cluster of unicorn statues, already half-dead, and makes a reluctant but definite beeline for the dragon's cave.
endragoned: (⑧ the local river)
Author: endragoned




The demon lands in front of her on an open stretch of path.
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
"I See you," Isibel sobs, and then she falls to her knees and buries her face in her hands and bursts into open tears.
endragoned: (⑪ anything for you)
Author: endragoned
He gets down on her level and wraps his arms around her and hugs her gently, his wings arched around them like a tent, murmuring something in his own language.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Isibel - cannot seem to stop crying. Not yet, anyway. She could hyperfocus on explaining - oh, he probably thinks someone's coming to kill him, that she's here to warn him, doesn't he -

Inhale. Choose object. Blur everything else into black disappeared irrelevance. Exhale. Focus.

"The Wild Magic told a unicorn to tell me that I must Bond with a dragon in order to save the world," Isibel says levelly. Her voice sounds too careful, too even, every syllable an exact length and every space between words the same size, but she's not paying attention to that. Breathe. Is that the complete explanation? It is a sufficient explanation.

The focus falls away and she cries again.
endragoned: (⑮ a little blood)
Author: endragoned
"I don't care about the world," he says softly. "I care about you. If this is how you feel about this thing, then do not do it."
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
"I care about the world. So many people could die. They may have already started dying because I waited to learn to concentrate on things, but I couldn't help that, I don't think I'll be able to work otherwise, whatever work I must do. I might die anyway, if I do nothing. There's no helping it." She doesn't hyperfocus for these sentences; she pushes them out between sobs and miserable sniffling inhalations.
endragoned: (⑩ let me float away)
Author: endragoned
The demon hugs her some more.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
"I have to," Isibel says in a small voice. "I can't consign so many people to suffer and die just because I will be unhappy."
endragoned: (⑪ anything for you)
Author: endragoned
"You can," he murmurs. "People do that. Even people who are not demons."
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
"Not me," says Isibel. "I can't."
endragoned: (⑭ want to pick my bones)
Author: endragoned
He sighs, and hugs her.

"I love you," he says. "I don't want you to be unhappy."
small_magics: (formal)
Author: small_magics
She looks up and meets his eyes. "I will also be unhappy if darkness takes the world," she murmurs, not addressing the first statement. She doesn't know what to do with that. She can't process. She can never process again; she's going to have to make do with some combination of instinct and status quo and Bondmate opinion, and what she has written down. There is not going to be another chance to write herself into books and read her thoughts in plain words. Not with someone watching.
endragoned: (⑦ make me better)
Author: endragoned
"If you are sure," he says, "I will take you to my love."
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
Isibel bows her head.

"I have to," she whispers.
endragoned: (⑪ anything for you)
Author: endragoned
He scoops her into his arms and stands, stretching his wings.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
She closes her eyes and focuses on her breath for as long as she can.

When she can't hold it anymore, she's stopped crying. She's just sort of numb.
endragoned: (⑩ let me float away)
Author: endragoned
By that time, they are in the air, headed for a different part of the island.

The dragon is hunting.

When they land, he is just in the process of scooping a giant turtle out of its shell, his wings spread to catch the sun.
small_magics: (formal)
Author: small_magics
"I See you," Isibel says softly.
endragoned: (⑤ is this love)
Author: endragoned
"Yes," says the dragon.

He looks up from his meal. His eyes are still brilliantly green, greener than grass, greener than leaves. Green like fireworks.
small_magics: (straightforward)
Author: small_magics
It's not hard, on a surface level, to just look. She knows what it means, but she's already made her decision about that, and now she can just - stare. They're compelling eyes, they draw her gaze, she feels a bit like someone has dropped her off a cliff and she might wish she could fly or that the cliff hadn't been there but it's not hard to fall.
endragoned: (⑪ anything for you)
Author: endragoned
The first obvious thing about the bond is that they love her, both of them - that's not always true, with co-Bondmates, but it is true here.

The second is that there are not really three people here. There are two, in three bodies. The demon and the dragon are not at all shy about Isibel seeing into their thoughts, and in the newness of the bond that is still possible. They are one, in a way that dragon and Bonded usually aren't. Two separate experiences of the world, two separate voices, but one unified mind.

And they love her, and they are sorry.
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
It's delicious and terrible, like poisoned fruit, she loves them and it's going to kill her and she loves them and she's going to die, because it's better than she imagined and worse than she thought.

She can see why the dragons might have predicted that she'd learn to tolerate the mind-reading. Their presence with her is so benign and tender and if anyone has to read her mind at least it's them, at least it's only this twinned-self who love her so much.

And it's worse. Because she hadn't expected to be able to feel it. She had expected to know she was being watched, to put aside the notebooks, to toss and turn before she could manage to sleep every night, to flinch at odd moments with the memory. She hadn't known that her own self-knowledge would be her window into the process as it happened. But she can feel her thoughts echo as they form, constant sensory confirmation that she's being watched.

She's sorry. She's sorry they have to have her in their heads, when she's going to be a creature of despair and a mechanical unthinking knife of focus by turns. She's sorry she didn't run for the hills and let Liselen chase her till the darkness swallowed up everything. (Or maybe she isn't. She'd have to write, to know for sure, and she can't, she can't, she's being torn open now but that doesn't mean she could hold the blade even if it'd lead to neater cuts.)
endragoned: (⑬ blackout nights)
Author: endragoned
The demon wraps his arms around her and cries.

He doesn't want to hurt her. When he was only his one-self and the other demons hated him violently, this was part of why: because sometimes he sees someone hurting and he doesn't want them to be. And now he can feel it, and it's so much worse, he would die if that would help, but if his both-self died it would kill her too and if only the demon died the dragon would be half a soul forever without him and she would still hurt.

"I'l sleep," the dragon says desperately, "I'll sleep your whole life, if I wake up I'll go to sleep again—my love, my love..."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Isibel hugs the demon, tightly, tightly, eyes closed. Usually a dragon teaches their Bondmate elfmagery from where it's hidden under the exchange the elves' ancestors made, but there are other Elfmages, she can go back to the Elven Lands, she can learn from them, she can do whatever it is she has to do, but even if the dragon sleeps a thousand years there will still be the demon and that is not how he works, is it? It scarcely matters if it's one of them or both, the problem isn't how many eyes but that things never meant to be exposed are visible at all.
endragoned: (⑧ the local river)
Author: endragoned
"I sleep, too," the demon murmurs. "I sleep for days - I slept for a moonturn once. I'll do it as much as I can, my love." And he kisses her forehead, the way he'd kiss the dragon's nose, lightly and lovingly.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
She leans into the embrace. She loves them. If anybody had to read her at least it's them. Maybe she can hold together with the privacy she'll get when they're sleeping. She'll miss them, probably - certainly - but she can live with missing people, even these people. (She thinks. She'd have to write to be sure. Will she be able to do that when they both sleep? They'll still be able to see anything she chances to remember having written but it won't have the immediate sting. Maybe if she can write anyway, around that, she'll be all right.)

She doesn't understand how the reading can be so pervasive. She doesn't feel like she has more attention to spare than she ever did, or as though - outside of hyperfocus - other things are being neglected. But there they are, background hum of love-attention-invasion, like they can't even look away, try though they might. She needs just a moment - she takes a breath and concentrates, lets it out, concentrates, inhale, exhale, and that's all, she just needed a little break, a moment away, where she might not be doing anything productive but she wasn't conscious of being watched at it.
endragoned: (⑨ so strange to me)
Author: endragoned
When her attention returns, her Bondmates are bewildered but relieved. Feeling her focus like that is deeply strange, but at least it doesn't hurt. It's possible not to hurt. That's a start.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
She can't do it for more than an hour and that only when she's focused on something interesting or at least complicated. Magic will probably qualify. She's loved magic all her life. She'll do her best to recover her equanimity, here with them, while the Bond settles - she'll go back to Elven Lands; the boat will be making several trips and she can simply take the next one - she'll find the same teacher who taught her to focus - she'll work on magic. She'll try to figure out what in the world she's supposed to do with it.
endragoned: (⑤ is this love)
Author: endragoned
She can fly now, or as close as a wingless creature can get. Either of her Bondmates will carry her anywhere in the world she wants to go.

If she doesn't want to wait for the next boat, she needn't.
small_magics: (formal)
Author: small_magics
She doesn't think the demon could land among elves and receive a pleasant welcome.

The dragon could.
endragoned: (⑬ blackout nights)
Author: endragoned
Then the dragon will fly with her, and the demon will -

He has no idea.

Stay here, perhaps; he is still afforded some privacy, although the way that flight of dragons earlier was talking, it is only a matter of time before the whole world knows that there is a demon on the loose. He can stay here, and... would she like it if he made more good food for elves? He'll do that.
small_magics: (dismay)
Author: small_magics
Isibel hugs him as hard as she can, which isn't very hard really. He should be invisible when he sleeps, perhaps, or he could disguise himself as something other than a demon - aren't they supposed to be able to do that? - and accompany them. She'll be awake, soon enough she'll be a competent Elfmage, a Sarion, and then she'll need to go - wherever she needs to go to stop the darkness, and not even elfmagery will let her fly without someone to carry her. (This may be a flaw in the sleeping plan, at least if there is any intention of implementing it before the danger is past.)
endragoned: (⑧ the local river)
Author: endragoned
He can, yes - he is not very good at it, and he cannot fool any kind of mage, but he can fool the ordinary eyes of ordinary folk. Or at least he could, ten thousand years ago when last he tried.

He can try again, he supposes.

Invisibility is a good thought. If she can find somewhere to put him where no one will stumble across the sleeping demon. In a box, perhaps. (He has done that before.)
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
The dragons know what he is; perhaps they'll help. Or Magania. Or a box, if he wouldn't mind a box, or - she can't think, she's already generated more thoughts than she expected to, and hyperfocus is only good for tasks, not for problem-solving, she can't think anymore, she presses her face to his shoulder and sobs.
endragoned: (⑦ make me better)
Author: endragoned
The demon hugs her.

"We will fly," he murmurs. "To the elves. To the other dragons. We will fly."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
She nods minutely. Will he carry her - she doesn't think she can walk very well, right now, ribbons or no ribbons -
endragoned: (⑩ let me float away)
Author: endragoned
He scoops her up and kisses her forehead again.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Isibel closes her eyes. She needs to stop again, just for a minute, a minute will do - breathe, breathe, breathe -
endragoned: (⑥ blood and honey)
Author: endragoned
When she notices the world again, they are in the air.
small_magics: (war manners)
Author: small_magics
She thinks of the map, of the direction they'll want to go to reach where her teacher lives, and she sighs. Perhaps when the Bond has settled some it will be better.

Or maybe she'll recognize her own thoughts marching across their minds forever even if theirs ultimately settle into, not invisibility, but the difficult cipher it takes centuries to learn to read.

(She has no protection like that; the mindreading is a property of dragons and the dragon will be able to read her whatever they do. Maybe if he sleeps the demon will be awake but unable to get any detail from her? Maybe? She can hope.)
endragoned: (⑪ anything for you)
Author: endragoned
When the demon and the dragon met and Bonded, they were like this almost from the start. They understood each other instantly, and recognized their sameness amidst all the differences, and that was that.

They hope it will not be that way for Isibel.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Let it not be so. Let there be an end. Let the Wild Magic be not that cruel. She can come out of this if it's short enough, if they can find enough stopgaps - but if they can't she may just save the world and then overdose on dream-honey, and there is a thought she never thought she'd have, she never ever wanted to die, she couldn't imagine it, she believed in theory that such suffering could exist but she didn't know what it would be like and didn't think even this fate would qualify. But having no quiet place in her own mind to retreat where no one will look - and feeling it every time she has a thought, whispering across the other mind -

Well, they can live without her, right? She'll learn magic and save the world and if they haven't figured something out by then there's dream-honey, they can live without her.
endragoned: (⑥ blood and honey)
Author: endragoned
They do not want to live without her.

But they already knew they were going to, if by some incredible chance the demon is not killed. Elves don't live forever.

Perhaps, though - if the demon is killed - the dragon can sleep for a thousand years, and never take another Bondmate, and he and Isibel can die together as dragon and Bonded used to. Perhaps that would be best.
small_magics: (dismay)
Author: small_magics
Perhaps.

Once she wanted to live forever.

She can't quite grasp the feeling now.
endragoned: (⑩ let me float away)
Author: endragoned
"My love, my love," the demon murmurs, kissing her forehead again.
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
"Beloved," sighs Isibel.

She thought one day she might love someone - not like this, never like this, but that she'd meet some elf and they'd be drawn to each other in the way that elves are, and then they'd probably have a terrific fight over betrothal pendants and proper wedding ceremonies because the way elves are married also involves thought-sharing, but she would never have agreed to that. Now that's hardly likely at all; even if her personality survives what's to come she's going to be damaged. Maybe she was never meant for that special connection, or maybe she would have found someone who'd be content to remain unmarried yet -

She bites her lip sharply, meditates on inhale-exhale-inhale-exhale-inhale-exhale, there is only breathing, certainly nothing that she not only wouldn't like read out of her thoughts but would also be mortified to put into words, only breathing, breathing, breathing.
endragoned: (② see things backwards)
Author: endragoned
"Oh, my love," the demon sighs, smiling a little. He loves her so much. He loved her even before; they both did.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
She didn't.

She does now - and the history of Bisochim is even more incomprehensible; how could he love her enough to care so intensely about the prospect of her dying and never listen to her -

She couldn't refuse his will when he willed things.

Could she just will the reading away -
endragoned: (⑪ anything for you)
Author: endragoned
In a sense, yes.

Because when the minds of her Bonded are full of blood and fire, when their demon-self's memories of being a plaything for every Endarkened in Shadow Mountain are the only thing they can think of, they can't really pay attention to her thoughts anymore.

The dragon cannot stop reading her; he has tried. But she can exert her will on him, and when she tries to make him do the impossible, all that's left is the sense of being forced, to which the demon has his own associations and plenty of them.
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
It would imply that she ever stopped crying, to say that she burst into tears, but she sobs harder, and curls into a ball, and withdraws again into breathing-breathing-breathing without stopping to wonder if they'll fall out of the sky into the ocean.
endragoned: (⑩ let me float away)
Author: endragoned


When she comes back again, they are all a little damp, and her Bonded have already forgiven her.
small_magics: (dismay)
Author: small_magics
She's sorry anyway. She didn't even quite decide to do it, just - lurched desperately towards the sliver of hope.
endragoned: (⑤ is this love)
Author: endragoned
"Oh, my love," murmurs the demon. "It's all right."

He's speaking his own language, but that is no longer a barrier.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
"I love you," she sighs. She shuts her eyes. Maybe she can sleep. Elves can sometimes sleep through the day.
endragoned: (⑦ make me better)
Author: endragoned
The demon's arms are very warm and comfortable, suited for sleeping in.
small_magics: (patient)
Author: small_magics
She drifts off eventually. She can in fact focus her way to sleep if she tries and she's tired enough; emotional exhaustion apparently counts.

She speaks, even when she doesn't dream.
endragoned: (⑪ anything for you)
Author: endragoned
She is... very peaceful, like this.

The demon wraps her in a little bit of magic to keep her comfortably sleeping.
small_magics: (Default)
Author: small_magics
And yet the Elven Lands are not infinitely far away. Most particularly on dragonback.
endragoned: (⑩ let me float away)
Author: endragoned
In theory, it should be impossible for an Endarkened to pass the land-wards, and if any of them had been thinking about it, they would perhaps have come up with some sort of plan to get around that.

In practice, they reach the dragons' roost by Karahelanderialigor without trouble. The demon sets his love down gently on the ground, and asks Saravasse where he and the dragon might find somewhere to take an undisturbed nap, and she shows them to a cave and they go to sleep curled up together. (Saravasse is, to everyone's surprise but theirs, quite fond of the demon. They understand one another. They didn't speak long when she was visiting his Bonded, but he left an impression.)
small_magics: (war manners)
Author: small_magics
Isibel opens her eyes, when the demon sleeps and his magic dissipates. And she feels no thought-echoes. And she sobs in relief and gets to her feet, trembling.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
Saravasse is still there, watching over her.
small_magics: (formal)
Author: small_magics
"I See you," murmurs Isibel.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"And I you," says the scarlet dragon. "Now what?"
small_magics: (judgment)
Author: small_magics
Isibel barely even flinches. There's a world of difference between someone being verbally inquisitive and someone actually prying into her brain. "Now I go find my teacher again and learn Elfmagery," she says, "I suppose."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Have fun," Saravasse says dryly.
small_magics: (formal)
Author: small_magics
Isibel shakes her head. She heads for the elven settlement and looks for her teacher.

Her teacher takes her back in. Her same guest house is available.

While the demon sleeps, she can write. She can write all the shuddering confused violated adoration into a book and shut it away and sometimes she can listen to her teacher describing the synaesthetic spell-impressions even without hyperfocus. She learns to do everything, because she has no idea what she will have to do.

She's out in the forest on the second day, trying to make a berry bush yield fruits more to her taste and a different color and in a different season. It's difficult. Her demon-beloved is better at this; she's not sure if it's practice or a better match to his magic type or both. At any rate, her teacher will move on to the next spell when Isibel returns with an altered berry branch.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
With a unicorn's characteristic grace, Liselen bounds into view and stops next to the bush.

"Hi!" he says. "Are—I mean, it would be good to know that you're all right."
small_magics: (patient)
Author: small_magics
"I don't much care if you ask me questions, now," Isibel says. "I'm all right while my beloveds sleep."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Oh," says Liselen. "That's good, I guess. Um so anyway, the Wild Magic has a message for you, again! It says your magic and your Bonded's magic have to work together to stop whoever it is from calling up the Dark again. Which doesn't make much sense," he adds, "because isn't that the whole point of dragons already? I mean, here you are, doing magic, because of your Bonded."
small_magics: (straightforward)
Author: small_magics
"I have a co-Bondmate," explains Isibel. "If it were more specific, that would be more helpful."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
Unicorns cannot exactly shrug, but Liselen tosses his head in a similar attitude.

"I'm not sure," he says. "I don't think I understand the message as well this time. I got the part about working together, but then there's a—like a blue flower made of light, but it smells like blood?" He shivers. "And some more stuff I don't understand at all."
small_magics: (war manners)
Author: small_magics
"Elfspells are not always easy to describe without words designed for them. I may be able to receive instructions from my teacher about one that could be described as a blue light-flower that smells like blood," Isibel says. "I would hear of the other part of the message. If it was sent, it may be important to me, even if you don't understand."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Um, okay," says Liselen. "But it was very unicorn, I don't think it'll make sense to you either. Unless you know what touching a clear well with your horn feels like. And I don't think you do."
small_magics: (judgment)
Author: small_magics
"I don't," admits Isibel. "It is very puzzling indeed that something so specific to unicorns would be included in a message intended for me and my Bondmates."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Yes, well, the message is getting sent by unicorn," says Liselen. "There's probably something I'm missing. I was probably supposed to interpret that part to mean something, like I did with the rest. Maybe it means everything will be fine after you and your co-Bonded do what you're supposed to," he says doubtfully. "But that sounds really redundant too, and I don't think the Wild Magic usually sends redundant messages. Especially not by unicorn."
small_magics: (patient)
Author: small_magics
"Perhaps I could help you translate if I knew more about what it feels like to touch a clear well with one's horn," Isibel says. "Though I do not know to what extent it would admit description."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"It feels like... it feels right," he says. "Good. Purifying water feels good too, but differently. When the water's already pure, it's like... I don't know." He swishes his tail. "It's just nice. Are those berries any good, can I have one?"
small_magics: (patient)
Author: small_magics
"Perhaps the pure water represents something," suggests Isibel. "I have not finished the berries to my satisfaction, but they will not harm you if you would like a taste now."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
Liselen nibbles up a berry.

"Tasty!" he declares. "Maybe you're right. But I don't know what it represents."
small_magics: (Default)
Author: small_magics
"Something that is - already pure, I suppose, or that might be expected to become impure but will not," Isibel speculates. "I am not familiar with whether it is likely to be a person, or a place, or an object..."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"I don't really know," says Liselen. "The idea is, by the time I really need to know it, I'm supposed to have figured it out somehow."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Isibel thinks. She tastes one of her berries, then tries her spell again.

Then she says, "My Bonded's other Bondmate is a benign demon. Perhaps it has to do with him."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
Liselen prances sideways in surprise.

Then he says, "Wait, he's Tialle's Demon?!"
small_magics: (judgment)
Author: small_magics
"Yes. Unless she had associations with more than one of them."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"There wasn't more than one of them that she liked," he says. "Oh, everything makes so much more sense now."
small_magics: (patient)
Author: small_magics
"The new sense that your message makes would be good hearing."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Well, obviously it's supposed to tell me that he's really for sure not Tainted," he says, flicking his tail, "so I can vouch for him like Gramps did for Vestakia. Except less comfortably, because unless Tialle was way wrong about some stuff, he's still... um, you know... that other thing that makes unicorns twitchy."
small_magics: (straightforward)
Author: small_magics
"That is good to know," Isibel says. "...The part about him not being Tainted."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Yep," says Liselen. "Uh-huh. Definitely."
small_magics: (Default)
Author: small_magics
"If there are other parts to the message that you have not related, I would help you with them if I can."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
He shakes his head. "Nope. Now that I know what it means, 'your Bonded isn't Tainted' is definitely the last one."
small_magics: (patient)
Author: small_magics
"All right. He isn't Tainted. We must work together to defeat the threat. Thank you for telling me."
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"You're welcome!" says Liselen. "Good luck! Will I distract you too much if I stay here while you do magic to this bush?"
small_magics: (Default)
Author: small_magics
"Not overmuch, no." Isibel does some more magic to the bush.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
Liselen watches. There isn't very much to see, but he seems content anyway.
small_magics: (patient)
Author: small_magics
Eventually Isibel is done with her berries. She cuts a branch to bring back to her teacher, and picks a few to eat. "You're welcome to the remainder," she tells Liselen.
pythbox: A book. (Default)
Author: pythbox
"Thanks!"

Nom nom nom.
small_magics: (war manners)
Author: small_magics
Isibel returns to her teacher, presents the branch, and goes back to learning other spells.
endragoned: (⑪ anything for you)
Author: endragoned




A day later, the demon wakes.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Isibel notices.

She shrinks away - takes a moment of focus on her breath - emerges into equilibrium - and decides to go to where he is. Maybe she will feel more normal if they have a conversation out loud, maybe it will help.
endragoned: (⑩ let me float away)
Author: endragoned
He snuggles up against the sleeping dragon.

Things are a little more muffled between them, with his dragon-self sleeping. A very little.
small_magics: (formal)
Author: small_magics
Not enough.

She focuses on walking. She walks. She comes back into the world when she arrives.

"Liselen says you aren't Tainted," she says.
endragoned: (⑥ blood and honey)
Author: endragoned
"...I don't know if I believe him," he says. "I am a Demon."
small_magics: (war manners)
Author: small_magics
"He was very clear about it," Isibel says. "He said there was part of the message from the Wild Magic that he didn't understand, and -" And having a conversation out loud isn't helping very much, but she can focus on giving explanations, she's done that once before. Breathe, and - "- that it felt like dipping his horn into a clear well. He said it made sense after I told him that my co-bondmate was a demon. He asked if you were Tialle's demon, and I said you were, and he said that part of the message meant that you weren't Tainted, and he can vouch for you as Shalkan did for Vestakia, except less comfortably because you are not, for demonically unrelated reasons, fit unicorn company."
endragoned: (⑤ is this love)
Author: endragoned
"He's right about that much," the demon sighs. "Oh, my love."
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
Isibel isn't trying to read him.

This doesn't stop her from looking at her feet and clasping her hands and tearing up when he thinks of the reason he is unfit unicorn company.
endragoned: (⑥ blood and honey)
Author: endragoned
He hugs her.

It's not as though he wouldn't have - if he had ever met someone he wanted to be unfit for unicorns with, who also wanted to. But there has never been such a person. There has only been his life in Shadow Mountain, and the long years alone after that. And then the visit from all those dragons, but the demon was not physically a part of that encounter.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Isibel's not sure how unicorn senses reckon that kind of thing, but certainly if he was already in a condition to discomfit Tialle when they met he still is now. She sighs and hugs him tight.
endragoned: (⑩ let me float away)
Author: endragoned
"I love you so much," he says softly.
small_magics: (patient)
Author: small_magics
"I love you too," Isibel murmurs.
endragoned: (⑪ anything for you)
Author: endragoned
Maybe if he just - tries not to pay attention, tries very hard, tries not to think of anything at all except how much he loves her.
small_magics: (war manners)
Author: small_magics
If this is what it's like for them when she hyperfocuses, she can't think why they'd find it disconcerting. This is - nice. The comfort without the thing she needs comforting from.

She leans on him and closes her eyes.
endragoned: (⑤ is this love)
Author: endragoned
He loves her he loves her he loves her he loves her -

He can't do it forever. He can't even do it for a full minute.
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
Isibel flinches back when he loses his concentration. But that minute was so nice. Healing.

She couldn't hyperfocus for long when she first started either. Maybe they can practice.

Of course - she's pretty sure she won't be able to get anything done while they're doing that - but through some combination of him concentrating and her concentrating they may be able to do what they have to do.

Which is, by the way -

"And Liselen says we both need to do something about the - whoever is bringing Darkness into the world. Together."
endragoned: (⑥ blood and honey)
Author: endragoned
"But he did not say what?"
small_magics: (judgment)
Author: small_magics
"No. Well, I'm sure he would have. The Wild Magic didn't tell him."
endragoned: (④ you want it)
Author: endragoned
"A mystery," the demon sighs. "Well, let's find out, then."
small_magics: (reflective)
Author: small_magics
"I don't know a spell to find whoever it is. My teacher thinks that if I could have delayed a season or two to Bond at all I can wait the extra moonturns to become proficient at Elfmagery and that this will give me a better chance of doing what I must when I do find the enemy."
endragoned: (⑬ blackout nights)
Author: endragoned
"I think you need a better teacher," says the demon.
small_magics: (formal)
Author: small_magics
"I could look for another, but this one is willing to devote her time to me, and she is good at explaining the things she chooses to explain, and she might take offense and refuse to teach me more if I failed to find a better one."
endragoned: (⑦ make me better)
Author: endragoned
"Then... I don't know," he sighs. "I'm sorry."
small_magics: (patient)
Author: small_magics
Isibel shifts from foot to foot. It's getting dark.

"I could sleep in my guesthouse," she says, "or - here."
endragoned: (⑤ is this love)
Author: endragoned
"I would like it, if you slept here," he says.
small_magics: (patient)
Author: small_magics
"Then I will."

She leans on him and closes her eyes and tries to focus on the comforting love and not on the spying. She's not even thinking anything in particular that she cares about having read, right now, but she doesn't know how to make it less - not concentrating on that not concentrating on that, just on the warmth the love the sleepiness -

She sleeps, eventually.
endragoned: (⑫ the lights are low)
Author: endragoned
The demon curls up and holds her. All night. He spends the time practicing, to see how long he can go thinking about his love for her and nothing else.
small_magics: (Default)
Author: small_magics
Might she find him mid practice when she wakes in the morning?
endragoned: (Default)
Author: endragoned
She does, in fact!
small_magics: (young yet)
Author: small_magics
That is nice. Snuggle-snuggle-sigh.
endragoned: (⑪ anything for you)
Author: endragoned
Oh, snuggles! He can snuggle without thinking. Just loving her, and touching her, and breathing the scent of her hair, and draping his wing over her like a leathery blanket. Just that.
small_magics: (young yet)
Author: small_magics
Nicenicenicenice. If it were like this all the time - well, she still wouldn't have wanted to Bond, she wanted to accomplish things with her life - but if it were like this all the time it wouldn't have frightened her so much.
endragoned: (④ you want it)
Author: endragoned
He notices 'nicenicenice', but he doesn't quite notice it all the way - he doesn't break out of focus, just wraps his arms around her and loves her some more, content in half-conscious sensual enjoyment of the fact that someone he loves is happy.
small_magics: (young yet)
Author: small_magics
Mmmmm.
endragoned: (③ temptation)
Author: endragoned
Snuggle snuggle snuggle love.
small_magics: (war manners)
Author: small_magics
She wonders how long he can do this, now.
endragoned: (⑩ let me float away)
Author: endragoned
He is not doing it perfectly - he has thoughts, slow lazy things that dawdle across his mind, formless and wordless - but he manages it for a good while longer.
small_magics: (patient)
Author: small_magics
When he's lost his hold, Isibel sighs. "I'll go to my teacher," she says. "And concentrate on magic."
endragoned: (⑪ anything for you)
Author: endragoned
"I love you," he says, cuddling her a little more. "I'm sorry."
small_magics: (sorrow)
Author: small_magics
"I love you too. I'm sorry too."

Hugs, and she withdraws and goes back to her instruction. She hyperfocuses through every explanation she gets and every spell she tries.